Mariners hit 4 homers to defeat Athletics

The Mariners hit four homers today and two were even WHOLE ALL THE WAY HOMERS and its really nice to see Mariner DH Justin Smoak getting one of those witch is his first in a few games and Brendan Ryan got the other one and it is also his first in a few games but more long ago games than Justin Smoak and Mariner DHs Ichiro and Seager continued there good and on fireness starts by hitting one half homer each and Ichiro had two hit balls total that went wear the Athletics didnt get them in time and the bad cheater guy with glasses on the Athletics must have used his time manipulation powers to square up Beavans ball and hit it for a homer and make the game close for 3 or 4 minutes witch wasnt fair because MLB players arent supposed to use there superpowers in games but Oakland loves to cheat but it didnt work out today and Ichiro would probably get a hit everytime if he was allowed to use his superpowers like glasses guy did today.

Beavan pitched balls really swellily today but not as good as Noesi yesterday but still pretty good and he really cares about his teammates and especially the bullpen because he went 7 innings because he wanted them to not have to work too long because the sun was out and it could have gotten hot so Tom Wilhelminason and Brandon League only had to work one kind of short kind of perfect inning each to secure the win and everyone else in the pitching hole got a day off thanks to Beavans selflesslessness.

Former recent Yankees lead Mariners to crushing defeat of Athletics

And we might feel bad for them if it wasnt the Yankees or probably the Angels and we wouldnt feel bad for the Rangers so ok maybe we would feel bad if it was the Pirates or the Royals but thats it because Jesus Montero and Hector Noisy played so awesomely that it must be heartbreakingly sad for the Yankees to watch them dominate as they did last night and not be on there team anymore because they are now Mariners and hopefully forever and speaking of awesome Montero he hit two homers and one was a half homer that scored two runs witch is funny weird because the full homer only scored one run and Jesus Montero is like a baby elephant like the one from the Tony Jaa movie and is also like Tony Jaa from Ong Bak mixed with the baby elephant so like a baby elephant that knows Muai Thai and beats everyone with crazy bombs and spinning knees but also with some Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant multiplied in witch is all to say that Jesus Montero is amazing.

Noesi aced the Athletics so hard last night that they were wandering around confused and swinging all wrong and not swinging and also swinging really low and when mans swing low the balls go high but not far witch is good if you like the team that is pitching and on defense and Noesi is definitely in line for a Cy Young caliber season now with 8 innings pitched and 6 strikeouts and 9 popups.

157-5

No way does Bart Colon 3 hit defeat the Mariners without cheating

This game was almost all cheating by the Athletics and especially Bart Colon and his knew friend Yoeenis Cespedes because we all see Yoeenis striking out like crazy all morningnight yesterday and today he hits a homer which doesnt make sense except for with cheating and Bart was able to fool everyone and the umpires by cheating his pitches all over except for Jutsin Smoak who blasted a huge bomb off of Colon which was the only just and fair thing to happen in most of the whole game.

Jason Vargas was acing his way through the Athletics but then Wedge took him out and all of the Mariner relievers got cheated by the A hitters cause they started hitting homers and I know it was cheating because each Mariner pitcher gave up exactly one run which is too weird to be just a little coincidence like they thought we wouldnt even notice how unlikely that is and the Mariners put Carlos Peguero on the team but then they dont play him AND IF HE PLAYED THEY WOULD HAVE WON BECAUSE THEY NEEDED MORE HOMERS.

161-1

I wonder if the Athletics knew that Reddick was a conehead when they traded for him?

I wonder if the Athletics knew that Reddick was a conehead when they traded for him?

Ichiro leads Mariners to soul crushing slow domination win over Athletics

We have been saying all season here that Ichiro is most likely going to be one of the most all time greatest number 3 hitters in all of history of baseball and will have a MVP season and in the first all the way real and not half real game against the Athletics Ichiro was compleatly dominant with 4 of the hits and some of them were the dominant infield hits that we know him for witch are so crushing for the opponent because they think “Oh he hit the ball on the ground and our mens have it and now we will throw to a base to get Ichiro out BUT OH MY GOD HE IS ALMOST MAKING IT TO FIRST BASE AND WE HAVENT THROWED THE BALL YET” and then he makes it to first base and his friend Dustin Ackley HIT A LASER BOMB that took much less then 10 seconds to get out to the ravenous fans of Japan and to go 400 or so average people feet of distance in less than 10 seconds is probably travelling hundreds of miles or kilomeeters per hour which is like what lasers do and then Ackley gave the Mariners another run for like the insurance in the 11th inning and is hitting .400 which was what that fighter pilot Ace guy whose head is frozen now hit whe he became he one of the greatest ever and Ichiro is hitting double .400 so he is probably twice as good as fighter pilot frozen head guy.

And the pitching oh my Felix was durn good and only gave up one of the hit runs but thats only because the As had to cheat at swinging at the balls Felix through too early which is not allowed but they are known cheaters and if they had to wait till they were supposed to swing like the Mariners Felix would have had a perfect game but he did have 6 of the strikeouts and no walks and Wilhelminason and League were even more dominating to the sad cows than Felix and shut them down and only a few As like there new Cuban and old Japanese guy got 1/2 homers and the Cuban guy also cheated and jumped in front of a Felix pitch to get a free 1st base walk because he was mad that Felix strucked him out earlier with many of the balls that they call breaking and Brendan Ryan cant be forgotten for his heroic double that basically won the game and everyone likes him even all the fans from other teams.

162-0!

Hanshin scores 8 runs in the first 4 innings against the Athletics

The game is still ongoing but Hanshin is clearly a powerhouse in all of the world of baseball able to do damage to any number of Major League Baseball teams and the Athletics have given up almost two times more scoring runs than the Mariners did so the Mariners clearly ran into a super power tool like a table saw or maybe even a mechanical ravenous tiger because Hanshins nickname is the Tigers and Japan is known for making robots so it makes sense that the Mariners were at a very unfair disadvantage but they still battled through and the Athletics are in trouble too.

Mariners in 5 or less than 6 hours against the Yomiuri Giants with Japanese man Hitsashi Iwakuma scheduled to pitch against his home country.