Former recent Yankees lead Mariners to crushing defeat of Athletics

And we might feel bad for them if it wasnt the Yankees or probably the Angels and we wouldnt feel bad for the Rangers so ok maybe we would feel bad if it was the Pirates or the Royals but thats it because Jesus Montero and Hector Noisy played so awesomely that it must be heartbreakingly sad for the Yankees to watch them dominate as they did last night and not be on there team anymore because they are now Mariners and hopefully forever and speaking of awesome Montero he hit two homers and one was a half homer that scored two runs witch is funny weird because the full homer only scored one run and Jesus Montero is like a baby elephant like the one from the Tony Jaa movie and is also like Tony Jaa from Ong Bak mixed with the baby elephant so like a baby elephant that knows Muai Thai and beats everyone with crazy bombs and spinning knees but also with some Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant multiplied in witch is all to say that Jesus Montero is amazing.

Noesi aced the Athletics so hard last night that they were wandering around confused and swinging all wrong and not swinging and also swinging really low and when mans swing low the balls go high but not far witch is good if you like the team that is pitching and on defense and Noesi is definitely in line for a Cy Young caliber season now with 8 innings pitched and 6 strikeouts and 9 popups.


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